Episode Transcript
[00:00:14] Speaker A: I had to change how I was living. So I changed the way I eat, changed the way I felt so I could change the way I speak. I stopped listening to music that was changing now. I think then I put the liquor down was time to change the way I drink. Please don't take it personal. I'm taking care of me. Stressing about my future was messing up my sleep. Accepted all my bosses.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: Welcome to Becoming her with Ashley Martin. This is a space for the woman who is ready to heal, grow and step into her next level. Here we talk healing, transformation and growth and the journey to becoming the woman you were always meant to be. I'm your host, Ashley Martin and together we are becoming so yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said the woman, the woman, the woman, the woman. But we can't neglect our men. The space is for the woman. Yes. But I am going to take time to make sure we have our men speak on topics that are very relevant to us because sometimes we can get close minded and I think that life is just like the yin and the yang and it requires balance. So today I want to welcome my amazing guest, my producer, Yousef. Yousef. Thank you for agreeing to be on the show.
[00:01:42] Speaker C: Thank you for coming.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: Thank you, thank you for having.
[00:01:43] Speaker C: Oh, I'm not for coming. Thank you for having me. I appreciate the opportunity to come on your show. I'm a fan of yours and I only see great things coming from your show.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: I receive that, Yousef.
So I will give the background story about how Yousef and I met at a whole nother because it was such a synchronicity and but from the first conversation I had with him, he was very thorough on communication and on just. I don't, if you have to text me, that's fine, but hesitate to pick up the phone and call me because I'm a communicator. Like I don't want anything to get translated. And so the episode that I did just a little while ago on words and the power of words, it was only appropriate and suitable for me to say hey and have Yusef on to talk about the power of words and how that can impact or how women words, a woman word can impact a man. And so I want to take just a few minutes, share some dialogue about communication, the impact of a woman word words or how she communicates with her man or her son. And I want you to just explore that area on how women, specifically how we communicate with men.
We can start off, you know, with it being a spouse and then the impact of how A woman speaks to a child. Child.
[00:03:21] Speaker C: Okay.
I will start off by saying that I've experienced all kinds of different communication from women, especially on my. On my own podcast. I have a woman as a co host. So it's a lot. So it's a lot of.
A lot of. It's a lot of different stuff when it comes to. But I don't think that a lot of women truly understand how much their words mean to the man. Because we're supposed to be strong. We're not supposed to feel. We're not supposed to.
The things that you say are not supposed to affect us because we're supposed to protect, provide, and stuff like that. So we're seen as stronger. So sometimes women take advantage of. I wouldn't say all or a lot, but, you know, sometimes women take advantage of the fact that, well, he's supposed to be strong. I can say this to him, and it will mean nothing.
I was married. I'm a divorcee. Been divorced 19 years now.
And with me and her great friends now. Yeah, we joke. We joke about our marriage like it's. It's comical.
When we get together, it's. It's. It's jab after jab, and we. We find if our kids don't. But we find it funny, actually hilarious. But she was. The last year of our marriage, she was verbally abusive, and she told me repeatedly that she didn't respect me after we. As we were working back towards this space because of how she treated me verbally, because you never physically did anything, but she verbally treated me in a way where I physically wanted to do something to her.
And in that moment, I was like, look, I.
I have to remove myself from this situation.
[00:05:09] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:05:10] Speaker C: And it grew to that. But when we spoke afterwards, she said she had lost respect for me over the marriage. Not because of anything I did, but because of what I wasn't providing for her because she didn't see me as a provider at that time.
She saw me because at the time, I was working on my career and trying to build myself up because I started life late. You know, I was homeless at 17, didn't get the car. I wasn't a college freshman until 21, 22 years old.
And so by the time I'm getting married to her at like, 32. 30. At 30. No, 27. Something like that, I'm still a kid, technically, because I haven't been a kid for so long.
[00:05:50] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:05:51] Speaker C: You know, I raised myself. I raised my brother. My mother put me out, all kind of stuff. I Ended up in the street sleeping. So I grew up way before I was supposed to.
[00:06:00] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:06:01] Speaker C: So in that sense. So now I'm just starting out my life. So in my career, and I'm just starting to make real money. And I'm trying to provide for you the way you want me to provide for you or the way your family thinks I should be providing for you. But I also feel like I have a duty to kids because I was a kid that nobody helped. So I failed my duty to that. So now I'm split between you and this. But when you met me, I. I wasn't on that track.
But now that I am, and I found my purpose in life that doesn't mesh with what your life is. So now you're speaking to me in a manner because you lost respect for me over time. And I told her, that's valid because what the marriage ended up being wasn't what you signed up for.
And I get it. But that still didn't. That still didn't require that. Still. I don't think that allowed her to speak to me the way it did.
[00:06:49] Speaker D: Right.
[00:06:49] Speaker C: And the way it has affected me is every single relationship since.
[00:06:55] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:06:56] Speaker C: Every single relationship since. If you curse when we're in an argument, done shut down. Oh, ain't no shut down.
We're on break.
[00:07:05] Speaker B: The relationship.
[00:07:05] Speaker C: The relationship is, is, is, is.
I give you about one time, I say, hey, look, I don't appreciate cursing.
[00:07:15] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:07:16] Speaker C: When we're in a disagreement, there's other ways that you could express yourself.
[00:07:19] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:07:19] Speaker C: Outside of using profane language. Because once you start using profane language, that means you, like, you have a lack of respect for me. And I don't. I don't roll like that. You get to yelling.
I don't roll like that.
You will respect me because I'm gonna respect you. I'm not gonna yell at you.
[00:07:35] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:07:35] Speaker C: I'm not going to curse at you.
[00:07:37] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:07:38] Speaker C: And even if one does slip out, I'm gonna say, I apologize. I didn't mean to say that.
I've had. I've had. I've had people say f you.
You full of ass. You this, you that. And I don't care how mad somebody may make you.
The communication should still be respectful. And I think that that's where women. Where some women. I won't say all kind of. I don't like making. On my show, I make absolute statements. This is your show, so I don't want to make. I don't want to get attacked. You know, tell them your.
[00:08:07] Speaker B: What's the name of your show.
[00:08:08] Speaker C: It's Relationship Status. The name of my podcast is Relationship Status. Podcast about relationships.
[00:08:12] Speaker B: Y' all gotta check it out.
[00:08:13] Speaker C: Yeah, it's.
[00:08:14] Speaker B: It's a tough binge and you probably see a lot of. Saw a lot of hearts.
[00:08:16] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: I was like, kind of. Yeah.
[00:08:18] Speaker C: I was like, she must have just found what was on TikTok.
[00:08:21] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah.
[00:08:23] Speaker B: Y' all gotta check it out. Yusuf, he's. Listen, he's always the same, but his personality, like you said, it's like giving him straight, no chasing. But I love that because being, you know, it's from your perspective.
[00:08:36] Speaker C: And I think that, like I said, I just don't think that women fully, truly understand that we are strong. We are all of this, but we also, and I would never admit this in public, although I'm in public now, we do have feelings.
[00:08:53] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:08:53] Speaker C: And what you say does affect us. And you do your. And words. Words matter.
[00:09:00] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:09:01] Speaker C: People believe words don't matter. Words matter what you use, what you say. If I ask a question, the way you answer the question, the. There is such a thing as tone.
That's why I don't like texting, because the tone can be taken completely out of. Out of context.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:09:15] Speaker C: When we talk. Because me and you have had. Well, and I'll go, just call me, just call me.
Just call me.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: And he's. That's so true. And once I call you, I'm like, I'm so glad I called you because.
[00:09:28] Speaker D: You know, like, yeah, yeah.
[00:09:31] Speaker C: So.
And then. And then that's, you know, you know, spouse to spouse or whatever. And then, then mother to son.
It's.
My mom told me how much I wasn't going to be anything my entire life.
And she told me this not because of me, but because of my dad and because she still. She was not me and my mother just got tight maybe 15 years ago.
Maybe 15 years ago. And I'm 40 something years old. I ain't gonna get it out. But maybe 15 years ago, we just got like, tight.
And I believe the only reason me and her became tight, this is my belief, is because my brother, back in 2020, about 2020, about 20 2003, be diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And my brother all. As we've been coming up, he been in and out of jail, in and out of jail, in and out of jail. Since he's been bipolar, he's had a lot of manic situations. He's been locked up. My mother ain't been able to see this last stint. He's been locked up for nine years. When he got out, he went manic again, attacked my mom, tried to kill her. So now she's got a restraining. So it almost like all of, like the trauma with him.
[00:10:52] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:10:53] Speaker C: Has pushed her towards me, you know what I'm saying? Because she's like, well, you're all I have. So I need to.
I need to kind of foster this relationship. I need to mend this fence. And she has done a great job of that. My kids love her to death as their grandma, and I love her to death. I never stopped loving her. But I'm not saying. Because I never blame anybody for the things I've been through.
Everything I've ever been through has been my decision.
But I always wonder what would I have been if she was to speak to me in a way in which it was more positive and being proud of me and a young man I was becoming and being more supportive. I played basketball in high school. Baseball. Football.
I think my mom came to one game.
[00:11:43] Speaker B: And all those.
[00:11:44] Speaker C: All the years.
[00:11:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:11:46] Speaker C: All the years of playing whatever sport.
One game.
She's been to every one of my brother's court appearances became one of my basketball games. One of one football game. And it was my senior year, and I was like, Mr. Orange High School.
How I got that, I don't understand. But.
And I was.
They started me a quarterback that game, and she came to that game, Thanksgiving Day game. She came to that game. Other than that, had never been to. Not nearly nothing. Now, she was working and everything else, but there's something to the support of your parent being there. And when you're all. I know because my dad is on drugs real bad. My dad is on heroin. I got all this stuff going on. You and my grandmother, which is my dad, is all I got.
[00:12:30] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:12:30] Speaker C: So I got my grandmother speaking life into me. I got you breaking me down every second you get.
But I'm living with you, so every chance you get, you on me.
And so eventually, what does that do? That. That pushes me further, further away.
Somewhere in my mind, I'm gonna tell you how much it's affected me. I had a relationship. I was in a relationship a couple years back, and I said, I know I'm gonna die long.
[00:13:03] Speaker D: You said that?
[00:13:04] Speaker C: Yeah. Total.
I. I know. I know at the end of the day, I'm not. I'm probably not gonna end up getting married again. I know I'm end up alone.
When it's all said and done, it's gonna be me and my kids, my grandkids so I'm not gonna get married. Ain't nobody gonna be me now, given.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: Considering because you were just in here when I was talking about the power of the words, did that make you shift just a little bit? Just like, just being open to. I am a dream husband.
I am in a position to not only be a provider, but to love my woman.
[00:13:43] Speaker C: The funny thing is, I do believe that on my end, but my track record is.
[00:13:51] Speaker B: Never mind your track record.
[00:13:52] Speaker C: No, no, no.
All I could go off is my track record.
All I can go off is my track record. Yeah, I could go off of patterns and everything else. See, I'm a busy person. I have a lot of stuff going on. I got this. I got my own podcast that I dropped Atlanta. I got all kinds of stuff.
So it takes a special type of woman who understands those things about me to actually be with me.
So early on in the relation, in the relationship, when we're getting to know you stage and I'm communicating with you, hey, this is what I've been through.
This person left because of this. This person left because it is. And it's the same thing because I'm being honest with you upfront about me and who I am. I lack balance, and I'm telling you I do because I am a workaholic.
I will make time when. But it's gonna have to. I gotta move the pieces around to make the time.
[00:14:44] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:14:45] Speaker C: And you're like, initially, that's fine.
Who doesn't want to be with somebody who's working and got a hustle and all that good stuff at the beginning? Everybody got the good stuff at the beginning. And then after. It's a year, year and a half now. It's. So you really don't have no time.
I told you this.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: Right?
[00:15:09] Speaker C: I told you this.
I want to be great at everything I do. And sometimes I think my relationships suffer because of that.
[00:15:15] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:15:16] Speaker C: But that's me knowing the pattern and understanding it. And when I was speaking to her, I was speaking to her from that sense and that. I understand that coming in.
Everybody sees how good a father is. I. I am.
My. My sons live with me primarily. Live with me primarily. And so everybody. Oh, man. A single dad who's taking care of his kids and he's got. Oh, he's got other kids and, you know, they're in college and. Oh, my gosh. And it looks good on paper.
[00:15:41] Speaker D: Right.
[00:15:42] Speaker C: But when you're in it, it's like, this dude really ain't got no time for me. Like, I Don't know if I could do this for the rest of my life. And me. Every relationship I get into now, it's potentially the rest of my life.
So I'm going to act accordingly. I'm not going to give you a representative. I'm not going to give you anything else.
I'm going to be. This is me.
I'm very.
I have. I have one downfall, which is if. If something's going to hurt your feelings, I kind of try to find a way to land a plane without hurting your feelings.
And so sometimes I don't say anything for a while. So I don't communicate that because.
Because that is a trauma for me. Because when I have done things, have. When I have been blunt with a woman that I cared about, she's either left or attacked me for what I was saying.
So that's kind of the.
That's why I. That's the one thing for me. But all of that.
All of this goes back to how.
And I don't blame my mom, but because she was dealing with her own trauma from my dad.
Because I told my dad. I told him. I told my daddy to his face. I said, you was wrong.
He like, son. I know. And then the rationalization. He comes up for some of this stuff. I'll tell it on another show. My dad is a.
He's philosophical with cheating.
[00:17:22] Speaker B: Philosophical with cheating?
[00:17:23] Speaker C: Yes.
My father has it down to a science as to why men should cheat.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:17:32] Speaker C: And why it's okay if we cheat. It's ingrained in our DNA. That's what he said.
And I had to. I said that. I said, dad, you won't be on my show.
[00:17:41] Speaker B: I'll bet you. Oh, my God. People, listen. The views will probably be out the roof. Okay. There will probably be.
[00:17:49] Speaker D: Oh, my God.
[00:17:50] Speaker B: It would be a whole lot.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Yes, of course. Because. I mean.
But you know, to keep it on track because of how he treated her.
Like my sister, my younger. My. I have a younger sibling. She's. My sister is a baby that he had on my mom who he talked my mom into taking in.
And then he left without.
[00:18:24] Speaker B: With no baby. Was with your mom. That was not biological.
[00:18:28] Speaker D: Hers.
[00:18:29] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:18:29] Speaker B: Biologically, yes.
[00:18:31] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:18:32] Speaker C: And then he left to go chase whatever drug binge he wanted to be on because it was shortly after that that he fell back in to the drugs and then went to that. And so the trauma of that dad hurt my mom's. My mom hasn't been in a positive relationship since my dad.
You talking about. I. I don't Remember them married.
So that's.
And they just started being cool and. And I think my mom wants my dad back.
That's the crazy.
My daddy called me, like, your mama just called me and asked me what I'm doing.
Because he's married now. My dad's doing well now.
[00:19:22] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:19:22] Speaker C: He's a great grandfather. He's been a great father since he's got his life together. To me, a great father. To my youngest brother.
There's nothing that he won't do for his grandkids.
Works, makes great money, is married to a wonderful lady who let him be him. My daddy, all he want to do is work, have his glass of wine, listen to his jazz at the end of the day, and he good.
[00:19:52] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:19:53] Speaker C: He ain't going nowhere. He ain't going to party. He ain't going to do nothing. Don't go out. If they go, they gonna travel the world. They done been. They just got back off a cruise in Italy.
And my mother's looking at that and.
[00:20:05] Speaker B: Going, that was supposed to be my life.
[00:20:08] Speaker C: That was supposed to be my life.
And so now she's. And every chance she gets talked to me about him and. And then goes down the road and then goes down the road of what she doesn't have.
But like I said, I had to deal with. I had to navigate that. And I didn't find me until after my marriage. Actually, it was. I got engaged after my marriage, shortly after my marriage, and we were engaged for eight years. And then she left.
Yeah, and then she left. And then she was like, yeah, this ain't the life I signed up for.
And then actually, me and her actually did a show, an episode where we kind of talked.
[00:20:49] Speaker B: My ex wife.
[00:20:49] Speaker C: Yeah, not my ex wife. Me and my ex fiance, eight years.
We did a podcast episode where we talked about everything, all the breakup, and basically we got closure on the show and. Because when she left me, I was so distraught and so hurt that I got drunk every single day for about three months straight.
[00:21:14] Speaker B: Every day.
[00:21:15] Speaker C: Every. There was not a day I was sober. I go to work sober. I wouldn't function when I got home because the house, it was. It was empty.
She took the kids, moved. But the thing was, the way she did it was kind of slick.
Hey, I got a new job because she wasn't working for a while.
I was the one busting my behind to take care of everything. Yeah, I'm working two jobs. I'm hustling up and down the road. I'm making sure we get at the house and as soon as you get a job, you bounce.
But she was building that up to do whatever. She's not a bad person. Me and her cool.
But it took.
It took a lady friend of mine who eventually became my girlfriend to speak life into me.
And she. Her words and her reaffirming me and her getting behind me. I didn't have a master's degree before her. Well, I have one. I started it and I stopped.
She got me to get my masters. I was like, man, I can't go no school. She said, yes, you can.
And whatever you can't do, I'll help you do.
She spoke life into me. She said, hey, look, you can still drink, but you don't need that.
[00:22:25] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:22:26] Speaker C: And she stayed. She was my friend and my friend and my friend until she became more. Because she spoke all of that into me. She got me up out of the pity party I was throwing for myself, and I was the only person there.
And she came in my life and it was out of nowhere.
She had her own stuff going on. She came out of nowhere, spoke nothing but positivity into me, and really pulled me out of a hole.
And she'll be forever. I'll forever be indebted to her because if it wasn't for her, I really don't know where I would be. And so you saw. What I saw was the. Basically, she became the antithesis of every woman I had dealt with prior to, you know, just people had some. She showed me what real support looked like. She showed me what real support sounded like.
And I just believe that women just need to. More women just need to sit back and just like, really, if you listen, you could communicate better rather than trying to get your point across. And a lot of times I feel like I wasn't. And this sounds, For a lack of better way of saying effeminate. It sounds effeminate. But I never felt like anybody was listening to what I was saying. Yeah, you were so busy trying to get your point across, you're not even listening to me.
So it. Words matter whether you're talking into a kid, like my mom talked into me, no matter what my grandmother said. Because think about this.
What is more in the news, right?
What's glorified more than anything else? Bad news, bad news.
[00:24:06] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:24:06] Speaker C: So even if I had somebody over here telling me something positive, somebody was over here telling me something negative about me, I' ma believe that I'm put more weight on the negative than I am the positive. Subconsciously.
I ain't supposed to be nothing. No Way.
Excuse me? That's what.
When she kicked me out, she said, I told you you wasn't gonna be nothing.
I guess she was right. Now I told him I walked out of the door. I guess she was right, you know, so that's just. But it's a cycle of stuff and if we don't understand our own stuff, we then project that onto the. The people that are around us. And it's usually our spouses.
[00:24:53] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:24:54] Speaker C: Know if, if you come in from a bad day.
I didn't do that to you.
[00:24:59] Speaker D: Yeah.
Yeah. This is real life.
[00:25:03] Speaker C: Janice stole your pen, not me. So when you come in, don't be on a hunted on me because I left the toilet seat up when Janice stole your pen. And that why you mad?
You know, come in first. And then I think we all have to be immenal.
We all have to be self aware of where we are mentally when we're around our spouse.
Because practice. Yeah, you have to be.
Because I might come in the house and be like, babe, I need a minute before we even do.
Because with my marriage, I was so unhappy. I used to sit in the car and prepare to go inside.
I used to be in the driveway 30, 40 minutes minimum.
Yes. Before I even go. Because I know when I go in here, it's gonna be you. MF for you, why you ain't did this and why that and bam, bam, bam. Until I go to bed in the same bed with you and you're still going till you fall asleep and then I wake up the next one. The only joy I had was at 3 o' clock in the morning when I woke up because I had to leave for work for 4 o' clock and when nothing moving and when none stirring in the house, not even a mouse.
And that was the only time I had peace.
So when that's what I had to do mentally.
I like coming into my house, seeing the person I love, seeing my kids and being like, you know what? Even if I had a bad day, I just need a minute. What I'm gonna do is if I don't have a dan or nothing, I could go to, hey, let me grab a shower first.
Let me get. Let me wash the day away and then we'll sit down and talk.
[00:26:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:26:45] Speaker B: Yousef has said you. You've said a mouth full like so much information and thank you for being so transparent.
But the beauty in everything that you have shared is that even through all the trauma, even through the setbacks and the disappointments and the betrayal and you know, you Name it. All the negative stuff you have come into this person where you have boundaries, you know, you said, they get one time. Now tell them, you know, and, you know, and even with, you know, how you care for yourself when you've had a bad day, knowing that you don't want to project that on the people that you love. And so you just share a practical tool. You know, I would say, if I can't go in the den or go in somewhere, you know, go somewhere, go into a room that's private, I say, well, let me catch, you know, let me get a shower first. And those are practical tools. And so I love that we are having this dialogue because I've been talking to the women, you know, we got the week. But my passion is for all people, for us to be elevated in mind because we all have stories. And when you were talking, I'm like, oh, my God, I can relate. I can relate. I can relate. I can relate. You know, I had a parent that was, you know, on drugs who battled drug addiction for many years, but it was a full circle moment when I went to live, you know, with my mom and then discovering all these things that she dealt with that were very traumatic. And I'm like, oh, my God. I literally went through moments as a teenager where I hated my mom because of some of the things that I felt like, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have done this or I would have been subjected to whatever. But I gained the experience of learning that my mom was only trying to numb the pain.
And so going through trauma, navigating all that stuff, being a man who people look at you and a black man, you know, you're supposed to have it all together. And then when you have, you know, this experience where you're the person who bought you into this world, who is supposed to be the one empowering you and building you up and speaking life to you when you don't have that. And then you start having all of these other experiences that, you know, just continue to continue to, like, just confirm. Like the thing that personal birth, you know, it just becomes such an environment of toxicity, an environment of, you know, someone feeling worthless. And so it is such a privilege to sit here and hear about all the ways that, you know, you've, You've. You've done, like, all the things that you've done is what I'm trying to convey that has gotten you to this point. Because I'm like, you know, you spoke on your brother who has, you know, bipolar.
[00:29:39] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:29:39] Speaker B: And it's like from all the things that you've gone through, you should have. Some people are looking at you like, you should have some mental, you know, issues.
[00:29:47] Speaker C: I had a girl tell me that one time, she said, you mental. I was like, it, it makes you see.
It made me see the world in a way in which now if somebody says they're going to leave me, it's like I might be. My ex fiance hurt me because of the way she did it. It wasn't that she left. It was the way it was done that really hurt me.
And then what I had been dealing with, with, you know, you wake up every day to your kids, and then literally the next day they're not there.
Like, that's painful. So when, when you, when you go through that, it kind of hardens you a lot to people and you still love. It doesn't change the way you love, but it is like I'm not chasing you nowhere.
And the people that see me work as hard as I do fully can't understand that. I have nightmares about ending up homeless again.
I'm. That's never happening to me again, and it's never happening to my kids. And that's why I'm driven as much as I am.
And I think that that's what's discounted with me. Dealing with a significant other is, you know, you know, you say you, you can't stand a man to walk a mile in his shoes, and that's a thing because there's no complete understanding. You can say it.
But until you, you know, you really had to, you really realize that nobody cares.
Don't nobody care.
[00:31:29] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:31:30] Speaker C: I think that you have to. Words matter. And I learned that throughout my life. And that's why I try to speak with intention. I try to act on my words.
I'm not perfect, so I'm not saying I'm really special at it.
[00:31:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:31:44] Speaker C: But I think, and that's why the way a woman speaks to me today is I, I, it's just unacceptable if it's not spoken with respect. You don't have to always like me. You don't have to love me.
But we will be. It will be with respect because I'm not going to talk to you with disrespect.
Yeah.
[00:32:04] Speaker B: As we wrap this up, Yousef, if there were just some words of wisdom that for the, the young man that's navigating life and may, you know, be able to relate to some of the things that you mentioned and talked about for the young teenage boy who's Trying to navigate, you know, some circumstances that are relatable.
What is something that you can share with them, that will empower them, Something that you wish someone would have told you when you were at your lowest.
[00:32:44] Speaker C: Don't be too proud to ask for help.
Don't be too proud to ask for help.
I think that's one of the things I learned in that is if I would have asked questions, then I would have had the help I needed, and I probably wouldn't have been in that situation. But that situation built me to who I am today, and that's what I teach the students I come in contact with. I adopted a kid a while back who was in a bad situation. I adopted him. He done graduated. He has a master's. He was on a full athletic scholarship. He's now engaged to be married, to get married in Hawaii this next year.
He has two kids with her. So, you know, just. And I taught him the same lessons, like, you know, whatever you need, you know, don't be afraid to ask for some help because there's some. There's help out there for you, but you have to seek the help. Don't be too strong to ask for help. And that's. That's from kids to adults, man. Sometimes we get too prideful, and we don't want to be like, hey, man, look, I. It may not be money, because the help I give you might not be monetary, because I ain't got it, but it could be in some other form of way where I can help you get to some money, right? Or I can help you get to wherever you want to go. So, yeah, don't be afraid to ask for some help.
[00:34:00] Speaker B: That's like, one of the best practical tools I feel like you can share with someone. Don't be afraid to ask.
So as we again bring this episode to a closure, I want to again acknowledge Yousef for being transparent, sharing his story, and for reaching the young man, the young father, just the person who has navigated so much trauma. Be inspired and don't give up and understand that your pain and all the things that you have gone through, it will not be wasted. So look forward to the future. Visualize. Remember the power of your words and realize also this thing you're never behind, you're simply becoming. Thank you and bye for now.
[00:34:50] Speaker C: Everything. I love who I'm becoming.
[00:34:55] Speaker A: You can't tell me nothing about this person I'm becoming.
